Archive for the DRIVERS Category


Posted in DRIVERS on April 10, 2010 by elsdonssewer

Can someone please explain this to me?

You can be anywhere, anywhere at all, the grocery store, the movie theater, the mall, I’m saying anywhere. Get the point so far?

You walk past a person, a total stranger, and that person will smile and either nod or say hello and acknowledge you presence. They may hold a door for you or let you pass down a crowed aisle or pick something up for you or reach something off a top shelf for you. They will treat you nicely. They will show you the basic common respect that we all deserve just because we share this world and we each have our place in it. And, you reciprocate because you are the same friendly type of person. This person will be considerate and friendly. They might even be talkative and gregarious. This person is what you would describe as a nice person. Oh, sure they might not be someone you’d hang out with or become best friends with, but that’s not the point that I trying to make here. I’m just saying that they are okay in your book.

Now, let’s say that this person held the door for you as you both were leaving the same place, or you hold the door for them and they respond with a thank you. You walk through the parking lot to your car and see from the corner of you eye that person is in the next aisle walking towards their car as well. You each get to you cars about the same time and load your parcels into your respective vehicles and climb in behind the wheel and fire it up. You pull out at the same time and get to the exit a moment before that person. You must turn right to exit and your new “friend” must turn left. You start to pull out into the exit lane and instead of waiting his turn, this person steps on it and cuts you off.

Okay, here’s my point, or more precisely my question.

What is it about being in a car that instantly transforms even the nicest person int to a complete and utter asshole? Where on God’s green earth do they find the entitlement to become not only an ass but a danger to us all?

Who told them that when they are behind the wheel of a car or truck or what ever that the rules only apply to others and that they could drive as they please? Who told them that they really don’t need to stop at a red light if they are turning right? Hell no, just, if you think of it, slow down a bit. This is more to reduce the wear and tear on the tires than anything else. But, hell, if you don’t want to slow down, don’t worry. Just go.

Who was it that told this person that a four way stop sign did not mean that they had to stop and wait their turn? Naw, just follow the person ahead of you right through. Some one must have explained to you that just because there are four vehicles at that four way stop and you were the last to arrive and couple want to go straight while you and another person want to turn left, that you do not have to wait for the others to go before you. Hell, don’t worry about common decency, just go. The others will be more than happy to wait while you’re being a idiot.

Did somebody tell them that if they see another car waiting patiently at a red light, partially into the intersection so they can make a left turn, they should speed up so they can make it through the yellow light and not worry if the person trying to turn left lives through the experience?

I will tell you that this person has not demographic. This person is a man. This person is a woman. This person is quite young, or middle aged, or quite old. Okay, small point here, mostly they are not quite old. I suspect that is because most of them died in a car accident when they were quite young or middle aged. However a few actually do survive to become quite old asshole drivers.

I am going to leave all you terrible drivers who have had the nerve to read my little chastisement of you, with a little tip. A helpful tidbit designed to make your life, and mine, less stressful. This is particularly directed toward those of you that just can’t stand to be behind anyone else. To you that feels that is it some how beneath you not to be the first car in line on the open road. The tip is, clear the crap out of you heads. You can’t do it. There will always be another car to pass. There will always be another car ahead of you. Get over it.

I have long been an advocate of doing away with driving tests. Anyone can pretend to be a good driver for fifteen minutes while the examiner rides with you and observes you follow to the letter all the rules of the road. That’s easy and you people are living proof that a driver licensing examiner can be fooled. I say strap us into a chair and hook a lie detector up to us. If you can’t pass that test…no license. It would make it safer and far more pleasant on the road.